So Irresponsible

Go to college, they said
(to a kid from the trailer park)
You have scholarships, they said
(to a kid from the trailer park)
You can afford it, they said
(to a kid from the trailer park)
Loans will cover the rest
It’s only 20%.

There are no jobs, they said
(to a kid with student loans)
Go back to school, they said
(to a kid with student loans)
You will have scholarships, they said
(to a kid with student loans)
You’ll be able to afford it
It’s only 20%.

We want you in public service, they said
(to a kid with expensive degrees)
You can afford it, they said
(to a kid with expensive degrees)
We won’t ask for more than you can pay, they said
(to a kid with expensive degrees)
We’ll forgive the rest
Up to 100%.

So irresponsible!  So foolish!
Went to schools you couldn’t afford!
Took a job that didn’t pay!
This is your own fault!
You should have made better choices.

If A Tree Falls In A Forest…

If you’re a writer but you’re not writing now (or updating your writing blog, for that matter) are you still a writer?

I’m pretty sure that the answer is yes.

I’m no longer as fatalistic about this break as I was a few weeks ago. I’m definitely still a writer. Even though I’m not writing fiction or updating my writing blog, I’m still reading and journaling and updating my queer blog. And I haven’t given up writing for good.

I’m just recharging the battery, renewing the well, whatever the proper term is for recovering from rejection fatigue. I still love writing and creating stories.

But if I do it, I’m going to have to market it, because that’s just how I am. And I really don’t care for more rejection right now. So here I am: a writer who isn’t writing, just waiting for the energy to come back. It will be back, sooner or later. It always comes back.

Crisis of Faith

I’ve come to realize that I just want to write things that I enjoy writing, and editing things that I have enjoyed writing, without having to worry at all about marketing my writing.  You know what’s fun?  Tossing a lump of words down on a potter’s wheel and shaping it until it looks like a cup made out of words and other people visualize the cup when they see it.  You know what’s not fun?  Trying to explain to other people why they should like it so much they want to give you money for it.

I may end up failing as a writer after all.

Thoughts About Blogging

You all know that I’ve been contemplating a Patreon for a good long while.  I have a short story project that I intend to be Patreon-based.  But I’m also considering moving to that for blogging, too.

While I’ve been on hiatus, I’ve also been thinking about my blog format.  I’ve been using the same format for years: some kind of thoughtful post on Monday, some kind of progress update on Friday.  But that format just isn’t working for me anymore.  I’ve had a lot of my thoughts about the process of writing.  When I do have thoughts, they occur to me at the time and I don’t like scheduling them out into the future.  So maybe I’ll just keep Friday progress posts (or move that day since Friday nights have been packed lately) and do other posts and things occur to me.  Or maybe I’ll just blog through Patreon.  Or maybe I’ll blog through both.  The possibilities are endless!

I love structure.  I love lists.  But this has stopped working for me, so I think it’s time to make a change.

Hiatus

I’ll be going on a brief writing hiatus as I adjust to a new day job.  I will be back!

On top of the lost blog posts really bumming me out (turns out I accidentally deleted, instead of scheduled to post, not one but TWO blog posts,) job changes are very stressful and I don’t want to pressure myself to keep up a blog and write every night.  I’d like to give myself permission to relax after work.  So that’s what I’m doing!

I’m giving myself a return target date of mid to late April.

Technical Difficulties, Part 2

I seem to have accidentally deleted, instead of published, my scheduled post for yesterday on gritty details of the progress I use to make maps.  Normally I write up blog posts in Scrivener before I redraft them into WordPress and post them, but in this instance it was a post I wrote on my phone while I was very excited about the topic, and while I’m sure I could dig it out of my backups, I just don’t have the time or energy right now.

I’m very bummed.  Please bear with me, I’ll try to redraft it and have it up for next week.

Making Maps

I’ve been thinking a lot about making maps lately, probably since I’m creating a map for a “new” secondary-world fantasy project. I really enjoy making maps, possibly to an unhealthy degree. I love everything from researching Earth geography to give myself ideas, to the process of penciling lines and features, to shading the final version in the colors that will later remind me what topography is where.

I have some idea of what a map is going to look like before I start drawing, but I also discover things about the setting as I’m going along. Every line I draw on paper comes with several whys: why is this border there, where was it before, who decided that this was the border. I think about the human geography while looking over the borders and topography. I think about where the borders might shift as the setting changes.

This is all super fun and exciting for me. But apparently it isn’t for everyone, because I know some people who don’t make maps. That these people exist blows my mind. I know that words are our art as writers, but how can you visualize more effectively than having a visual?

It’s a rhetorical question. I don’t want to know the answer. I love making maps so much that if an alternative exists, I don’t even want to know about it.